home again, gone again

on coming home: well.. im sorry i didnt really get to see everyone and all, but to be honest (and i dont mean to offend) the weekend was perfect and a taste of what i needed. i am officially serious about going to N Ireland next year to do the school of missions. for once in my life im allowing myself to have a break. I cant do this. its so hard. this last week has been one of the hardest of my entire life. and right now, i dont want to go back to school and leave my home. i dont want to go back and have to apply myself, i dont want to go back an have my roommates not understand that i am still sad. i want to give up. with all that i am i dont want to keep moving. but that is where gods strength steps in, He peels me off the floor. He stands me on my feet and he leads me, cuz im too blinded by tears, by hurt, and by sorrow. but now that he is my guide i have comfort. i cannot wait for June 9th to roll around (my last day of finals) then i will be joyful. i hope and pray there will be more moments of joy in between but i know they will be few and far between. for now know that i love each and every one of you and im so thankful for the support and love you give to me. it means the world